As I was browsing my social media, a memory post brought by the algorithm caught my attention. It was a photo of my office/entertainment setup in my small home from July 2016. Everything was tidy, minimal, and simple. It felt like a time machine had transported me back to when I was just starting to chase my dreams, step by step. I was working hard, saving up for the future, yearning to buy the things I was deprived of during my childhood. Though my earnings were modest compared to today, I never felt scarcity. I lived a simple life but was hopeful for something greater ahead.
Fast forward to July 2024. The second photo made me realize how far I've come. Tansyong, who once found joy in simplicity but was incredibly dedicated to his goals, has changed. As I've grown older, my pace of growth has slowed. I tire easily, fear change, and dread growing. My current setup reflects my recent personality: more expensive yet complicated. It's functional and versatile but overwhelming and stressful to look at. While everything is available, navigating it all has become complex. Despite the ease of use, I still want more, forgetting to be grateful. I keep buying things I don't truly need, trying to satisfy the deprivations of my childhood, leading to a congested and heavy environment.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirrAPxCBl8-kARGvVA8Bo0SfakpdstgBXItWqQPhHSuKuy9z-HoikIM6bpyiI57dfIZd6Vik99c-BErFNmZ0lWJT6KhhSknNQ_pfjFP2f6nAy9nUt-OgkFu-rHZTFIKbOJIHPBOWTIlTMTT6S_SxQsXrYcQ4iEutTy2jAyU1qIZCcjMxAbmKgn1xfUcPA-/s16000/451760153_122128870970297576_5909860430707112667_n.jpg)
These two photos brought a realization: in life, we unconsciously collect things to mask and divert our pain. We become obsessed with hoarding and forget to declutter. One day, we realize that over time, this weight becomes heavier and heavier.
Perhaps that's how life is. So simple and full of innocence when we're young, yet it slowly becomes complicated as we mature. Life is truly indescribable and sometimes beyond explanation.
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